Drunks Do It Better

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 00:16:19 GMT

I LOVE PANTS EVEN MORE THAN I LOVE WHEELER.

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 22:13:41 GMT

Tuckerella Wheeler.
Mrs. Lanclott Wheeler.
Mrs. Wheeler.
Mrs. Tuckerella Wheeler.
Ella Wheeler.
Mrs. Ella Wheeler.
Tuckerella Christopher-Wheeler
Ella Christopher-Wheeler
Mrs. Christopher-Wheeler
Mrs. Tuckerella Christopher-Wheeler
Mrs. Ella Christopher-Wheeler
Tuckerella Willington-Christopher-Wheeler...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Tucker!

In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and Tucker.
In Chinese, the sound 'Tucker' means 'bite the wax tadpole'!
According to the story, Pinocchio was made of Tucker.
Tucker can be very poisonous if injected intravenously.
Birds do not sleep in Tucker, though they may rest in it from time to time.
68 percent of all UFO sightings are by Tucker.
Tuckerology is the study of Tucker.
The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Tucker.
Tucker has four noses.
Tucker is the world's smallest mammal.

...What the hell is a Pinocchio? And fer the last time, I'm not small.

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 08:51:35 GMT

I look damn good in a dress and I almost got in t'Luke Dalby's pants.

:D

OOC

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 16:29:20 GMT

A lot of people have been asking me what Tucker looks like. I'd say Michael Douglas and Kurt Russell's love child.

His hair and face:

His eyes, body type, and dopey smile:

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 18:32:57 GMT

Drunkentailor in Severely Dated

With alluring decadence, this heart-warming legend, set in modern-day Australia, depicts friends, drunkentailor (Alan Cumming) and mistress_marian (Pia Miranda), who find themselves subject to malice, due to the fact that a chance meeting has been initiated by his unscrupulous cousin, drunkinheels (Jimmy Fallon). The only way a film could be more moving is if it was screening during flight.

Produced by ianiceboy

Three cheers fer our favorite French bastard.

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 23:16:04 GMT

SHE SAID YES.

Th'goddamn gold-digging whore.

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 02:58:37 GMT

And 'ere was much rejoycin' o'er the deaths of me fair cousins.

Beers all around!

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 16:46:22 GMT

Why couldn't they have been goddamn sent to William? Why?

Bought th'lad a set o' soldiers today, but he still insists on taking fabric behind me back fer his dollies. I just hope they're women for the soldiers, as those glass blokes could use one 'r three after being in Avery's shop fer so long. I'm takin' me dear time on makin' him that forrest green waistcoat...and thinkin' about makin' it a few sizes too small. Spoiled brat.

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 14:25:55 GMT

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 100%

Envy: 80%

Pride: 80%

Greed: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Gluttony: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 54%

You'll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go.

How Sinful Are You?

Christ Awmighty. No more ugly girls.

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 14:17:51 GMT

You Are an Irish Coffee

At your best, you are: wild, spontaneous, and outgoing

At your worst, you are: too extreme and reckless

You drink coffee when: you want to keep drinking booze

Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

GODDAMNIT I AM NOT IRISH.

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 14:32:09 GMT

Your Penis Name is: Little Juan

Get your own Penis Name

...

:(

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 20:56:55 GMT

Me famed o'erstuffed leather chair. It's much more masculine lookin' in person.

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 02:17:50 GMT

Yes, I am aware they don't have faces. This is because I can't draw faces. Yes, it can get worse.

I can't draw Tucker. I don't know why. I just...can't. The drunken swagger is never right.

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 20:38:09 GMT

Marian: Does she know yet ingame that Tuck's off the hootch?
Tuck: She must have noticed the lack of a buldge in his front pocket.
Marian: She just thinks he's impotent.
Tuck: No. The vest pocket.
Marian: Oh. That.

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 04:18:53 GMT

Bloody hell.

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 16:50:44 GMT

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Corrupt Politicians
Circle I Limbo

Jacques Mornaix, The Navy
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Kids
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Nell Hawker, Fanny Trueman
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Germans
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Avery
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Barmaids from the Wag
Circle VII Burning Sands

Dexter Morley, Cam Balgaire, Edward Morley
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Girls that don't put out, Rose
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

You're NAUGHTY sexy! You have a super sexy style, a
little skimpy at times, but it does bring
attention to you. Just make sure it's the right
kind of attention.

What kind of sexy are you? [Revamped! More questions! More results & Pics!]
brought to you by Quizilla

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 22:27:58 GMT

Am stayin at th'Dam until further notice. Will be workin' from 'ere as well.

Don't ye dare tell Anne where I am. Tell 'er I'm dead. See if she bloody cares.

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 14:18:30 GMT

Awright, as good as it is fer business, I've just about had goddamn enough of ye fat assed rich blokes popping seams. I keep making yer pants bigger, and ye keep getting fatter. I should start taking in th'goddamn waistbands. If ye can't bloody breathe whene'er ye pull up yer breeches, maybe ye'll get th'idea.

Hiding me flask isn' near as effective when I'm sober.

TW: TE